Mom: On Jon’s birthday

Today would have been your Dad’s 57^th birthday. He was born October 17, 1958, and was two years older than me. He died at age 44. Ironically, his Dad Max (your grandfather) was age 44 when your Dad was born. But enough about dates and years. Your Dad packed a lot of living into those 44 years. He truly enjoyed life, and those around him.

There are many attributes that your Dad had that he passed along to you, Dane. For example, when you were little, and at pre-school at the Jewish Community Center, you knew the names of everyone. You knew the maintenance employees, the other teachers, and the cleaning people. You made it a point to connect with people. When I walked in to JCC with you, everyone gravitated to you, and knew exactly who you were. I am not sure if you still recognize the power that connecting with people can have, and how making someone feel special is a wonderful thing. I often believe that because you lost your Dad at such a young age that you have lost this somewhat. I am not good at connecting with people, as he was, so you have not had a good role model for this. But I do think that genetics plays a huge part in who we become, and you should have solace in that. I think that if you make an effort, you can bring back the little Dane, the one that had so much fun and everyone gravitated toward at JCC, and then again at Comfort Zone Camp. The one that loves to interact with others. I still see that side of you many times, especially with adults, but as your Mother who is always telling you how to behave, how to spend your time, and what you need to do differently, I completely get why you don’t want to spend time with me. I wish your Dad was here to provide some relief, and guide you. I hate being the only one to have to do it. But I do know that if your Dad was still with us, he would not be easy on you either. He may have been more patient and accepting though, and would probably better understand what it is like to be a boy, and what you are going through on your journey to manhood. I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you. I know we bump heads more than I am willing to admit lately, but I am so grateful for you Dane. You are a great kid, with a kind heart, and more like your Dad than you can possibly know.

So I have deviated from the most important reason from this post – your Dad’s birthday. You Dad loved birthdays, but mainly birthdays of others. He always made an extra effort to celebrate in a BIG WAY anyone’s birthday that he cared about. When it came to his children, he would craft the poem from the invite, plan the party, or get the over-the-top gift. But when it came to his own birthday, your Dad didn’t exactly ask for much attention. We usually celebrated in the typical way, by going to a see a live music show, or to his favorite restaurant, or for me to prepare one of his favorite meals. He loved my veal schnitzel, and mashed potatoes, which I made for many birthdays for him. He also loved the milk chocolate macadamia nut cookies that I also made on special occasions, including his birthday. He loved homemade chocolate pudding, with the skin on top. He loved my homemade chocolate praline double layer cake with whipped cream. But most of all, he loved cherry vanilla Gelati Celeste ice cream (which I expect you to eat again). Secret here Dane: I ate that batch of ice cream you had claimed as yours because it reminded me so much of time with your Dad. I ate it because 20+ years ago, all the batches of cherry vanilla had that many cherries. It would mean a lot of me if we could honor your Dad on his birthday by sharing a batch of his favorite flavor of ice cream together.