On Wednesday, I was asked by Rabbi Madway to tell a story that conveys the essence of Jon. Not an easy task. So many people loved Jon. And, no one loved him more than I did. He was everything to me. When we first met in December 1987, Jon was there for me unlike anyone else who had ever entered my life prior to that time. If I could think of one character trait that most conveys the essence of Jon it would be one of giving. Giving beyond measure. Always looking for that one thing that either helps bring someone up, that makes their life a little bit easier, that makes their life a little more fun, that shows to them how very much he loved them.

For me, with Jon, it was always a work in progress. Whenever I would feel less than perfect or consumed by some failure, Jon would tell me how much I was loved and help me to learn to love myself a little more. When it came to problems at home or work, Jon could figure things out so quickly. All I had to do was call him and present a problem or question, and he’d have the answer no matter how busy he was at the time. And, he did this not just with me, but everyone else as well. His love for me and the children was constant.

What conveys the essence of Jon? Our license plates are all about his love for his family. Mine being GR8CUPL and his being SWMN KDS. Jon was always there for the children. No matter what was going on, he would find a way to make it to each school activity, whether it was a play, concert, or recital. Sam (who is 11) has been swimming year round since 8 and each summer since she was 6. In that timeframe, Jon has not missed a single swim meet. He’d wake up for the winter meets at 5:30 AM on Saturday and Sunday, and take both Sam and Joelle, sometimes not returning home until 1 PM or later. When Sam became old enough this past year to swim in a different age category, he would be at the swim meets all day. When it came to a birthday party or other significant event, Jon always took things further than anyone else. When Sam and Joelle swam lengths of the pool to raise money for Noah’s Children in 2000, Jon talked to Ray McCallister and they were featured in the newspaper. When Sam had to do a project at school last year to convey her life in pictures, in addition to the photo collage she made, Jon spent hours with Sam looking at videotapes and creating one that featured just Sam from birth to age 10. He made little movie tickets on the computer, and we brought in popcorn so all the children could see “The Story of Sam”. When it came to Sam’s 10th birthday party, he surprised her by renting a 15-passenger van and drove the children around Richmond before bringing them back to our house for a sleepover, and 9 additional surprises. When it came to Joelle’s 8th birthday party at Peak Experience, like all the other preceding, he made up a little poem that captured the event perfectly, and taped it all on video and film. When it came to Dane, he was already introducing his son to his great love for music with a bongo drum, musical blocks, the piano, or by playing songs for him to dance to time and time again. Everything was about giving beyond measure. Jon simply never stopped giving.

Within my heart, I will hold the memories of our courtship, marriage, the children’s conceptions and births, and the joy that we experienced as a loving family. About 4 weeks ago, I was showing some pictures to Brenda Racheau, a friend at work…a picture album that Jon had put together for his Mom. It was no ordinary picture album. Nothing was ever ordinary when it came to Jon. It was one he had found in a catalog that allowed you to record a short message with each picture. My friend looked at that album of pictures and told me how very lucky I was. It was something I already knew. Seeing the children, who are absolutely beautiful and talented in so many ways, and the pictures of all of us together, including the dog tell it all. We were a family. A family led by Jon’s love and unconditional support.

Now we are a family without a husband or father and that will be extremely difficult. When I had the painful experience of telling Sam and Joelle that their Daddy had died this past Sunday, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But the one thing I told them that I hope carries them through this loss is that they had a wonderful Daddy. Sam had a Daddy for 11 years, Joelle for 8, and Dane for 2 who loved them so very much. A Daddy who spent his whole life while they were here living for them – and who was so very proud of them. Some people never have that, even if they have their fathers for 30 – 40 – or 50 years. Jon was only 44, and I only had him in my life for 15 too short years. But somehow, some day, somewhere we will be together again. I am certain of that. And, in the meantime, all I can do is have faith that his pure and gentle soul will surround me, that he will hold my hand and help me get through this, and I will continue to feel the presence of his everlasting love.

Delivered Dec. 6, 2002