When you were born Dane, it became increasingly difficult to take trips as a family.  Having three children to take care of, as you can imagine, was not easy.  Also, you were not as easy as your sisters were at the same age, as you have heard us mention one too many times.  For example, when it came to going out to eat, it is relatively easy to get a table for four, but once you need a table for five the wait becomes longer.  Also, you were not as easygoing, quiet, and as compliant as your sisters were when you were an infant and toddler.  I remember when you were under two, you found great humor in pulling my hair, or suddenly bashing your head into my nose.  I remember one Famous Dave’s restaurant visit in which another family asked if they could place their infant child (in a car seat) toward our table instead of their table, since our table would hardly notice another chaotic baby.  Even when you were confined to an infant seat, you would take one of your toys (placed strategically to keep you occupied and quiet) and hurl it across the restaurant.  Later, when you were old enough to feed yourself, you, for no reason at all would hurl a piece of silverware much to our embarrassment.  You did not like to sit in your seat, and would crawl under a booth, or annoy someone seated near us by standing up and looking at them across a booth.  One of our favorite local restaurants was Don Jose, and the waiters and owners knew us well.  You always wanted to go the bathroom, and eventually the waiters would just take you there for us.  I am not quite sure why you behaved this way.  Perhaps it was because you were a boy, and this is what boys do.  Or, later, perhaps it was because you were frustrated in being unable to communicate your needs when your speech was slightly delayed.

So, as a backdrop to the story, please know you were somewhat of a challenge, and best watched by multiple caregivers.  But despite your spiritedness, Grandma Estelle loved to see you.  She eagerly awaited our visits, which were becoming increasingly infrequent due to us having to keep up with work and a  very busy family of five.  But your Dad wanted you to see his mother, and your grandmother.  Dad knew he was having the gastric bypass surgery the Monday prior to Thanksgiving, and had decided to not tell anyone in his family.  He did not want to worry them, and secretly wanted to surprise everyone when your cousin Jaime married David Hicks in May of 2003.  He figured they would all be greatly surprised by his weight loss, and for that reason chose not to share his pending surgery with his mother, Uncle Bob, or Uncle Stan.  In retrospect, this was not the best of plans.  But some aspect of your Dad must have been concerned, because he planned a trip to see his mother in late October/early November which was several weeks prior to his surgery.  In addition to deciding to go to see his mother, he also decided to bring you with him.

Your grandmother Estelle lived in St. Petersburg, Florida at the time.  He decided to take this trip together with you, knowing that his mother would have a large “to do” list for him, and that he also would need to keep a close eye on you, as he knew you were too much to handle for Grandma Estelle.  He arranged to have you sleep with him in the spare bedroom at Grandma’s house, rather than take a portable pack-n-play.  You departed the Richmond airport together on October 31 and returned on November 3.  It was a short trip, but the first and last vacation you had together.  Looking back now, I do not recall him doing this with either Sam or Joelle.  We always took trips together as a family.  But your sisters were in school, and did not have the time like you did to go on such a trip.  I am sure you don’t remember much of this trip, but in relaying it to you, it is my hope that somewhere in the recesses of your brain, you can pull something forward.  Perhaps a plane ride, or even one memory is still there.  You were only 2 years, and 8 months at the time, so doing that would be exceedingly difficult.  But know that you had a great time, and that your Dad was quite proud of himself for having this SOLO trip with you.

I also remember shortly after your Dad died an incident in the airport in which you were drawn to a man, and would not leave this stranger alone.  It was heartbreaking to watch, and Sam may remember it too.  You wanted to sit near him, climbed in his lap, and were so drawn to be near someone who I believe reminded you of your Dad.  It is hard to write this for you now.  You have memories that have to be relayed through others.  Your Dad loved all of us so much.  He would be proud of you, and all that you have accomplished.  As you get older, there are things that you do that remind me of your Dad.  It may be a look, a word, a glance, a laugh.  Please keep laughing.  Because of you Dane, we have the chance to see your Dad in you!